How many times in your life have you stunted your growth, thwarted your goals or denied your desires because you didn’t feel good enough, capable or worthy of living a full-bodied life? Maybe that looks like always choosing skim milk even though full cream is so much more satisfying. Maybe that looks like keeping quiet in a meeting even though you have a really good idea or constructive criticism you want to share. Maybe that looks like scheduling every nook and cranny of your time so that you don’t have the space to make way for your deeper life aspirations. What is the cost of living a partially embodied life?
“When people operate from this disembodied state, the cost is often large but seemingly mysterious. It could look like emotional outbursts that seem out of proportion to the current situation, but are actually a representation of a long-hidden belief or feeling.” - Elna Schütz
When it comes to satisfaction, full-bodied flavour is the best. It’s the same with being fully embodied: feeling everything, acknowledging everything and radically accepting everything is how we are meant to live. When it comes to living your one precious life, how would you feel at the end of it if you did not allow yourself to blossom? Blossoming is not all ecstasy, it encompasses all the struggle too. How else does a butterfly make its way out of a chrysalis? It has to break through. Expanding our capacity to experience the fullness of our life without escapism, distraction or suppression is how we come to fully embody who we are.
“In my case, it meant I would push myself repeatedly beyond my body's boundaries, such as attending events when I was in great pain because I didn't want to face the reality and, in truth, the responsibility of being kind to myself.” - Elna Schütz
Despite how it sounds, the struggle of expanding into our wholeness is actually a deeply satisfying way to live. In accepting and honouring ourselves exactly as we are, including and especially the parts of ourselves that we don’t like, the more calmly confident we can feel. That means fully accepting the irritable bitch inside and allowing her to blow off steam while walking in the wind and then enjoying a block of chocolate. That means fully accepting the scared little child inside and allowing her to stay cosy at home. That means fully accepting the genius in you and allowing her to dream big even if it seems weird, unconventional and unrealistic.
“Considering the wide-ranging causes and effects of bodily disconnection, it will come as no surprise that there is no one-size-fits-all solution to developing a greater sense of embodiment.” - Elna Schütz
Your habits of disconnection and denial will look different from mine and that is the point of self-enquiry. No one can tell you who you are and what is ok for you. The more we become curious about the parts of ourselves that we deny, the more full-bodied we become. Notice your edges, that feeling in your body of prickliness, or not okayness, those are your boundaries. Honour them completely. And then, given time, you might be able to press on them, stretch them and break through them. Trusting yourself in the process because you have acknowledge that it is indeed an edge for you. This is how we blossom and become our full-bodied selves.
Inspired by Elna Schütz PSYCHE article: YOU ARE YOUR BODY